fix(orchestrator): reap registry rows whose bottle is no longer running

A registry row only ever left the registry two ways: an explicit
teardown_bottle (the launcher's cleanup callback) or the same-IP supersede
sweep in register(). Neither runs when the launching CLI dies hard, so the
row outlives its container.

That orphan is not inert. Source IPs are recycled by the backend's DHCP and
by_source_ip fail-closes on ambiguity, so a leftover row at a reused address
resolves no policy at all for the next bottle that lands there — and a
bottle with no policy denies every host, which surfaces to the agent as
"host X is not in the allowlist" for hosts that were never the problem.

Add reap_absent/reconcile and call it from the macOS launch path before
registering, so each launch self-heals the registry. Restores the invariant
the data plane needs: at most one active row per live address, and none for
a dead one. The second half matters as much as the first — when several rows
claim a *live* address the newest wins and the rest are swept, otherwise a
recycled address stays ambiguous, which is exactly the bricked state.

The host supplies the live set because the orchestrator runs inside the
infra container and cannot see the backend. A grace window exempts rows
younger than it, so reconciliation cannot race a bottle still coming up, and
a reconcile failure is logged rather than blocking an otherwise-fine launch.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 4.8 <noreply@anthropic.com>

bot_bottle/orchestrator/control_plane.py

@@ -13,6 +13,9 @@ vsock / unix-socket portability caveats):
     PUT    /bottles/<bottle_id>/policy -> 200 {"updated": true} | 404  (live reload)
                                          body: {"policy"}
     DELETE /bottles/<bottle_id>        -> 200 {"torn_down": true} | 404  (teardown)
+    POST   /reconcile                 -> 200 {"reaped": [bottle_id, ...]}
+                                         body: {"live_source_ips": [...],
+                                                ["grace_seconds"]}
     POST   /attribute                 -> 200 {"bottle_id"} | 403
     POST   /resolve                   -> 200 {"bottle_id","policy"} | 403
                                          body: {"source_ip","identity_token"}
@@ -141,6 +144,27 @@ def dispatch(  # pylint: disable=too-many-return-statements,too-many-branches
             return 200, {"torn_down": True}
         return 404, {"error": "no such bottle"}
 
+    if method == "POST" and route == "/reconcile":
+        # Host-driven self-heal: the caller enumerates its live bottles (only
+        # the host can see the backend) and the orchestrator drops rows for
+        # every other active bottle. Trusted-caller only — an agent that could
+        # reach this would be able to unregister its neighbours.
+        try:
+            data = _parse_json_object(body)
+        except ValueError as e:
+            return 400, {"error": f"invalid JSON: {e}"}
+        raw_ips = data.get("live_source_ips")
+        if not isinstance(raw_ips, list):
+            return 400, {"error": "live_source_ips (list of strings) is required"}
+        live = [ip for ip in raw_ips if isinstance(ip, str) and ip]
+        grace = data.get("grace_seconds")
+        kwargs = (
+            {"grace_seconds": float(grace)}
+            if isinstance(grace, (int, float)) and not isinstance(grace, bool)
+            else {}
+        )
+        return 200, {"reaped": orch.reconcile(live, **kwargs)}
+
     if method == "POST" and route == "/attribute":
         try:
             data = _parse_json_object(body)